dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
