you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
