I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
