I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Soap is not a condiment
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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