Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
