I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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