Need sex. Gaining weight.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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