There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
