Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Help. Why am I so naked?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
