I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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