You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
