Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Terrible idea I love it
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
