the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize