we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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