the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
