You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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