Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
