I need help removing her.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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