I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
