you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
