how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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