To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
