And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
