You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
