Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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