You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
