Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you win again, gameday.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I could fuck to npr.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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