and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
