I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
