what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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