so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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