you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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