i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
