so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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