At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
They have beer where we have blood.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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