so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
