I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize