Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
