we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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