I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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