Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
love makes seman taste better
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
