why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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