the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
