He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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