help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize