the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
that is very illegal...i love you.
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