I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
