Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Soap is not a condiment
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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