she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Will exercising make me less horny?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
