Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
