would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I wish they made helmets for livers.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize