Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
