Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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