Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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