What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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