He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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