is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you had me at cake vodka
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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