Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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