Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
