He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
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