Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
