Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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