Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
