Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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