can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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