I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You took a bar mat shot.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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