I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize