Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
