you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
