When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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