Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize