I looked at my own cervix.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
