I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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