Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
